as the morning sun crept in through her window, her messenger called. waking her up instead of vice versa. she realises she is late. stubbornly yet casually, she takes her own sweet time. her messenger texted her saying something about her new sunglasses making her look like a rockstar, plus the added bonus of a rocker's voice. she ignores the message and takes a bath.

her usual bath takes about approximately 15 minutes. no matter how long or short her showers are, she always emerges looking the same everyday. she's bored, but she's fickle on what look's next for her. she donned on the clothes she had thought of the night before. at least it saved her some time off the lateness scale. she swung her hair forward and sifted leave-in conditioner through her hair. she proceeds on to make tidy her bed. but it doesnt seem to look so. why bother anyway, she thinks. it'll only be messy again by nightfall. and during the day, her youngest furkid will be frolicking around on her bed, as if it belongs to her.
as she closed her drawer, her thumb got stuck in between and she quickly retracts it, causing a small cut. it stung for a moment and she dabs tissue on it. Blood.

Zen? Check.
Zen USB? Check.
Giant headphones? Check.
Bed? Check.
Wallet? Check.
Electricity off? Check.
Lights? Check.
Toilet door unlocked? Check.
ETC.. Check.

she dumps all her needed stuff for the day into her bag, grabs her precious, and goes out. she wanted to hug her oldest furkid but it ran away. the bloody timid one. she went into her sister's room in search of something to borrow, and knocked into the bed's wheels. ouch! what a way to start the day. banging into almost everything. suddenly it drizzled, and it got heavier. she's lazy to bring an umbrella, she thinks its too girlish. so she puts on a hooded sweater. she texted her messenger when she got on the train. her messenger is reaching the meeting point. she puts her precious in between her legs as she stood up, and got a seat at the next station. hurrah! her precious is heavy. she cant believe today is really the day.

"Bugis."
She got up and got out. she met her messenger at the fence and passed to her her precious. she said her last goodbye and felt a tinge of sadness. her precious has been with her for many years, and were best of friends. but she stopped taking care of it since a year ago. because her precious didn't do her justice. she got disappointed and chuck him into the cupboard, never to be touched again. her daddy brought him to a technician to get him all better, but he was getting too old. he was the first of his kind. there wasn't anything to replace his parts.

she cheek-kissed her messenger goodbye and carried on with her day. it doesn't matter now, her precious is with a better person, she thinks. and besides, her bebe zenne will be her only precious for now. LOVE LOVE.

you crazy ass girlfriends have been greatly missed.

had some good buka yesterday over at aunt's place in bishan. the kids had this halloween party thing after buka so they went trick-or-treating on every floor of both the condo towers. i'm getting too old to join in these kinda things. they didnt get much candy or no candy at all or so i heard. which singaporean practices giving out candy on halloween?

the bbq was so good, i kept eating and eating and eating and eating. cuz the prawns were delicious and the fish was OMG nice. it made me crave for ikan bakar from johor more. so after awhile of eating too much, me and 2 of the older cuzzins + a young one went out in search of a playground and played swings. i absolutely love swings. i won them all in terms of how high can you swing. a 20 yr old who cant let go of some kiddish habits. S-A-D.


high high~

and then we went on to another playground which has a pyramid you can climb. these kids i tell you ar, so hyper. (-_-)" tyuuuu..



and then somewhere along the way......................

and then this kid. he's such a cutie pie. he's 4 and is a malay but looks like an african. his curls play a part in him looking like one. and coincidentally, they're now living in africa for about a year or so. he absolutely has no african blood. and he's so vain! he likes to look at his picture once he's been snapped. aaawwww!

there are so many things i'm aware of. but can't say, or even side. everything is dumped in me, and i feel helpless cuz i can't let it out. all i can do is just watch and see what happen's next, and hoping things will get better. but for now it doesn't seem so. FYP is a jinx.

everything's falling apart.

i just spent my lunch hour bringing my friend around school. she has spent the same amount of time in NYP as me, but she doesnt know Block M, N, P, Q, R, S. basically the buildings that are around her except Block L, cuz all along her classes are limited to this block.
VERY SAD!

feels as if i brought a year one student on a tour of the school. (-_-)"

then we explored the business/nursing side. which is daaaaaammmnnnn boring. i predict i can fall asleep while walking along the halls sia. and the lecture theatres are weird looking. unlike our usual block's theatres. better know what the other side of school is like before im outta here in a few weeks time.

last night's dream was weird. dreamt of midah and felix. and we're walking in this so called aircon shopping centre and midah was smoking a cigarette. i took the box and it was in thai letters. it's pretty cute actually. and then when me and midah were outside the girl's toilet, suddenly she passed me her cig and gave me a cheeky smile. when i turned back, i saw police officers with handcuffs ready to take us away because of the thai ciggs. the weird part is, after seeing them, i just walk past them and went in the girl's toilet, taking my time. and the guy officer was waiting for me outside the ladies. so when i went out, midah and felix were already in handcuffs and smiling. and then he handcuffed me. what happens next is a blur. all i can remember was i managed to be free from all accusations and i met ayu, my cuzzin at this place in singapore which in reality, doesnt even exist. she was with her family, and i was happily going around in rollerskates.
-end-

what a huge ball of bullcrap.

so, my dear friends, dinner at marina next monday! dont forget, dont forget! dont say we didnt book you earlier! and yes, anyone wants ZoukOut tickets? the event falls on 10th dec. if you want tix, talk to me!!

boredom leads to doing stupid things. stupid things lead to lameness.

I IS BACK!
haha. what a hiatus right?
one week only.
not fun leh.
but anyways, its not suka² hiatus horr.

had a pretty rough week. cuz everything went down in the doldrums each day after another and i absolutely cant take the pressure. thus, since there wasnt anything good going on, i considered closing down faded-lush. why make people read my sad entries? i'd hate to make a gorgeous name like faded-lush be lashing out sad and pathetic tales. anyways, big apologies to those that had been worried for me. my apologies stretch out to as far as novena and kaki bukit.
needed some time apart from everyone, thus i travelled around and have been to the best places ever to clear things off my mind. sitting by esplanade to mope around is so passe. the overlooking view of the city by night is something new. what happened to me? where on earth did i go? you wanna know? go sit in that dark dusty corner and ponder. if you get hungry with too much pondering, go eat some delicious gray dust.

so how am i now you might ask? i shall not tell. if i said everything's fine now, i might be pretending. if i said i'm still not okay, my behaviour says the opposite. so which is it?! oh uds, you're spinning us around!!

believe what you want.

sunday i was out with Nad again. yes we have no one else to layan us sad souls so we layan each other. going out with her is not the type that "oh im bored i shall look for her." it's more to like "i loveeee going out with the crazy penyapu lidi." because she is nuts. and she sweeps the floor everywhere she goes. she even has strange people waving at her, which she then walks away clueless. i wish i had strange people waving at me too.
*thinks*
but then again, i hate stalkers. so i'd rather be low profile. hehe. all the best to u ah nad.

pictures! yes! i'm sure you're getting bored of us right? NO CHOI AH! We love to cam-ho. it's our duty and responsibility as camera owners, no?

went to ps to change my top size, and dropped by POA for that cutie shoes. ninie wants em. i wanna borrow em. but no choi ah. no size. only have sizes 38 and 40. which girls wears that kinda size sia? okay sorry. i know la my feet too small.

and theeeennnnnnnnnn we went to marina because nad wants to look for cake skirt. she gives weird names to things. luckily i learned to understand what she means after these 3 consecutive outings. in the end, she, or raher we, bought nothing. which is good! because we kept psychoing each other throughout the day. we managed to refrain ourselves! *proud*

so the evening was alternately suntec and marina. no time to go to Candy Empire. drooollllsss.... at suntec we dropped by Toys'R'Us! which is freaking huge and we tried on those wigs again and played hula hoops. hilarious pics and videos. and then we walk around aimlessly, cam-hoing, to esplanade, met julie, met deyvy and mate and more cam-hoing, and went home.
happy lil cam-hoers we are. HoHoHo!
dessert outing soon okay? hurhurhur~!

Click here for a whole lotta love.

i had another great but tiring saturday. my feet hurts from walking too much. met up with the crazy cuzzin, Nadiyah si penyapu lidi. hurhurhur~...

went down to bugis village in search of beads and those casual blazers. si Nad la ni. i was planning on buying just the spag strap from Fox but i ended up with more. the earrings we found are irresistably cute, we HAD to buy. and Nad stumbled upon a gorgeous skirt, i'm soooo in love with it. its now married to my wardrobe. and then it was so hot, and both of us were fcuking thirsty and hungry, we almost didnt make it. but we did. *cam lagu singapore gitu!*

wanted to go to holland v but realised its too far and we cant be bothered. so we went to dhoby ghaut instead and looked for the shoe i fell in love with, but didnt buy. it is sooo fcuking cute. for dinner we had ayam panggang which was soooooo good. worth the bloody long queue. and then we walk³ down to orchard, laughing at and with each other because we are so nuts and hyper after getting food, and shopped around more. especially nad. she has a thousand and one items on her shopping list.

tomorrow probably going out with her again. she wants to shop more while i need to exchange something. hopefully we can get Secret Recipe's dessert without me running out of the store embarrased again.

found some old pictures. of young us. and my young mom. she was damn hot i tell you.
shall upload pictures online tomorrow. currently too tired. pictures in multiply!
and loving my blog song.
and missing you.

me and mom on a camel

nad and me

my kindergarten graduation

my old school mom

conversation between me and a fat indian guy in army uniform at the zebra crossing yesterday.

Him : Excuse me miss... miss.

Me : (turns back to look, thinking i dropped something)

Him : Miss ah, you're daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmnnnn beautiful ah. you're daaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnn beautiful.

Me : (?????!!!!)

Him : really ah you're daaaaaammmmn beautiful ah. you're going home?

Me : Yeah.

Him : Oh, thought wanna chit chat and get to know you better.

Me : Sorry ah rushing home for dinner. (tak posa nak rush home dinner apa)

Him : Oh. are you singaporean?

Me : Yeah.

Him : never met a person look as beautiful as you before. you're daaaaammmmmnnn beautiful ah.

Me : (???????!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Him : ok lah miss bye. I MISS YOU!

Me : (walks faster thinking what in the name of freaking fucks just happened)

somewhere further away...

Him : (Screaming)BYE MISS! I MISS YOU!!!!

Me : (if i could climb over the fence, i would!)





good morning all.

[audio : KT Tunstall - Suddenly I See]

very very bored. been two days straight doing nothing. not really nothing lah. been looking for inspiration online for my project. yesterday was like fucks. my lab was closed since the time i came in the morning, so i had nowhere to go. thought of going over nad's place but end up nDee's kaypoh supervisor ask us to move to Block M. once at Block M i feel so much better. like i'm right at home. i can just sit there for long hours listening to my zen and looking for things i need online.

end up nDee supervisor didnt come and look for us AT ALL. and at 5pm i had to move back to this boring lab, just as i was loving it at Block M. once back here, i feel lost. like i dont know what to do. and i absolutely cant sit still.

and today, they said we're probably gonna have to move again. to some fishtank lab. i hate it there. cuz it's more duller than here. the malay girls in my lab including me aint fasting. and we're eating and drinking like nobody's business. so the only one is tawfiq ahahaha. so hopefully i dont have to move, and poor nDee will be alone. awwwwwwww!

*Vincent Liaw(TO) enters and speaks to the SIT people*

okay yay i dont have to move. yay yay yay! the EI pple will be coming over. i wonder who hmmmm..... too bad lah. i just got warmed up to the people in my lab. they are cute bunch of people. currently, all strongly disagreeing with such anger to the moving idea. this lab aint that bad afterall.

[newest update again]
TO said sooner or later i'm gonna get moved as well. soooooooooooooooo fuck everyone in SIT lah. bosan siaaaaaaaaakssssssss........

went lunch with ifah just now. The Working Woman. yeaaah ifah not fasting either. all is legally excused okay! so dont anyhow say hor. funny, almost everyone i know is not fasting. huarhahahaha! oops! pecah rahsia semua.

ok lah bye. gonna go back to chatting in msn and aimless surfing on the web. Tata and haf a good day. :)

belated fypj first day pics.

finally the weekends. time to snooze away without having a limit to your sleep time.
fypj week. so tired. of sleeping less and doing nothing.

thanks izyan, she told me to take it a step at a time.

to nDee, thanks for that concern call.

well anyways, i spent my saturday out with nad. we combed the whole town like mad women from starbucks to explanade with fitting rooms in between. it was pure madness i tell ya. the toys 'r' us part was crazy. the secret recipe scene was too embarassing. lesson to be learnt, ask before you set foot inside. and the fitting room visits made us crave for some real shopping. i figured that ndee was probably working so i dropped by for awhile only to find that he cant go for a break so we met him after work and went esplanade to visit julie. and he brought free foooood! muchos gracias! thanks for the great sat nad pantat!

pictures shall do the rest of the talking here.

for the elaborated story, visit Nadeeeyah.

nad and me brought those instant camera pics from year 2001-2002. now i know how much weight i lost and rebonding trully is my best friend. might i add, i looked like a bloody freaking filipino maid then.

fugliness.

friday night with hamidah was great. it's been 2 mths since i last hung out with her and plus she brought me my belated! after dinner at pastamania's bugis, we went to PS to look for her flip flops only to find ourselves back to city hall after 10-15 mins to get to project shop blood brother's just in time before it closed. and what's the best is the long talks by the monument.

mesmerised by lava

and what tomorrow hopefully brings, is dinner with friends + 2 beloved babellinies attending. i cant fucking wait.

Seven things that will scare me:
creepy crawlies
needles(injections)
my mother when she's screaming but actually she's talking. get me?
things that i think i cant do
babysitting kids. OMFG.
having less money in the bank without realising it.
supp papers/repeat modules

Seven things I like the most:
shopping and window-shopping alike
doing permanent damage to my hair just for temporary pleasure.
spending time with important girlfriends.
go sentosa and make myself tanned! with girlfriends of coz.
sitting at starbucks/coffee bean/spinelli for idle chat
camwhoring!
lay beside my cats on the floor at home (makes me feel relaxed)

Seven most impt things in my room:
the Hi-Fi
ikea's Yellow Crescent Moon Lamp
bed. his name is Ben. and he always wants me to sleep on him.
bantal busoks.
photos of fellow camwhoring friends.
mirror. definitely duhh.
some flower lights thats pasted on my wall

Seven random facts abt me:
i have weird tastebuds.
i like to put stupid stuff on my cats.
i cant sit home for 3 days straight.
i look like an arrogant, snobby bitch. but my personality is the total opposite.
i love to watch cartoons. there's nothing wrong with that even tho im 20!
i'm a lazy ass girl.
i'm nuts for gadgetry.

Seven things I can do:
read manuals for people and explain to them later. (makes me feel clever. haha!)
irritate people
i can sit and do nothing for a long period of time
part time counsellor for those that need it
pinch people's nipples. so beware. grrrowwwl!
make something more complicated than what it's sposed to be
take good care of my nails. and probably others as well. hehe. part time freelance manurist.

Seven things I can't do:
i absolutely cant handle stress. its my number one killer.
i cant cook for nuts.
i cant inject my dudut because of my fear of needles.
i cannot go out alone. very boring zzzzzz.
cannot go without sleep for a day. one hr also will do
live without handphone
live without camera

Seven words I say the most:
oh my gawd.
what the fuck
what the hell.
of my fucking gawd.
no choi.
se mo nien tai ler!
chao cheebye ah.

Seven celeb crushes:
keanu reeves
that vocalist from Green Day. He's so cute!
matt damon
roberto carlos
that vocalist from The Vines (Craig Nichols)
richard gere. those blue eyes OMFG.
sean william scott
fei xiang!

Seven people I would love to do this:
nadiyah
mardhiah
sharil
felix
andy
izyan
ady

FYPJ Week
It's so tiring, i cant even imagine. my project is Flash based on Nanotechnology. like WTF. sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. but i'm very free cuz my supervisor is away on holiday(i think) and me and my proj mate are nuts on what we're sposed to do. so there. im lazy to update more. cuz i think the cerita is rather basi. and i am bored, lack of sleep, and sick. i got the flujigamatic! *sniffles*

meanwhile, since luoyan is not around, therefore no camwhoring with her phone. i've chosen nDee's since. he says that his phone like got photo album of his and my photos cuz almost everyday we take snapshots. we are trully bored. i did bring my cam last monday, and i have been too tired to even upload it. probably over the weekend. and almost all of us are constantly on msn. the supervisor lets us use it. my supervisor wants me to add her.

what have i been doing during my free time? i walk² ah. since nDee's lab is next to mine, i have chosen him as the lucky guinea pig to accompany me on breaks. the rest seems so busy. some really do their project, while some, busy watching movie. while i've got nothing to do, i'm playing Insaniquarium. i've created a fishtank and named the fishes as such.

pathetic, i know. not enough money to buy more fishes. and that's my desktop, i can dl anything i want cuz im the administrator baby. huarhahaha! bo liao.

went to is's new house for dinner yestdae. it's a pretty cosy house. what i dont get is the bomb shelter. am i bimbo or what abt the bomb shelter because he lives on the 7th floor and every hse has a bomb shelter and let's say if the building gets bombed, wont ur whole building collapse regardless of bomb shelter or not? somebody explain please.

after his friends left, it was only me, ninie, sarina and is. and he made us move his furniture because the arrangement was bloody weird. so much for being a guest. hmmm...

and yay today meeting midah for dinner. hopefully, she brings the belated thats intended for me! *ecstatic*

to my dear cuzzin, whom i just realised we REALLY have ALOT in common, cheer up and may your 19th be a better year for you! forget the past and embrace the new aits babe!

MNG'S Fall/Winter Collection 2005

i might have been bored out of my wits. cuz i ended up in.................



.......... in the evening. i cant believe i agreed to even come here.
i must have been freakin nuts.

it's *ayu's fault. she talked me into it. she even gave me the wrong direction, go left instead of going right. going left is back to the road. she wants me to be roadkill. she had some appointment at some salon there and i had to meet her in front of the salon itself. i initially thought i lost my way because i passed by some sort of a pasar. the smell, it reeks! fyi, i'm more of a supermarket person. where the floor is clean, everything is arranged as accordingly and there's no weird smells of fish or meat. except probably the unfortunate waft of someone's fart.

when i reached, she hasnt even arrived. and the salon people kept asking me who was i looking for. my god, i feel so lost siak. like i just came from a kampong or something. so i waited. and came across a cheesy shop name.
"Jambu Salon"
there's hope yet for ugly people! go in an ugly bitch and come out a dazzling and gorgeous woman! ala extreme makeover!

btw, that's not the name of the salon the appointment was at. it's just beside. for beauties and not less only. hehe.. what? u want a barf bag?

so okay, she came, did her hair and waited for her bf to pick us up. meanwhile we stopped by 7-11 and i got that bendy ice-cream thingy again. i miss the thoing-thoing lah. so after her bf picked us up, we went to........ CLEMENTI! reminiscing under the block she used to live in. where we both grew up and did stupid things as children. it's kinda fun. cuz i hafnt stepped foot there ever since.. well... more than 10 years lah. i miss the place. cuz the block in front was my late grandma's and we used to hang out there almost every week with my uncles before they got married. and can you imagine, when we were abt 4 yrs old, after finishing our lesson in K2, our bus-driver didn't come to pick us up because he was sick and so i, the reckless mastermind, suggested to ayu that we should walk home. along the way we walked, we ran, looked at longkang fishes and bought guppies. somehow my plastic bag burst and my fish went down the drain, so i instructed ayu to deliberately throw hers as well. if i cant have it, neither can she. oh my god, i am so mean. might i add, we walked nearby the main road. and the distance wasnt near either. we got home with blisters. but its fun though. u can't imagine how we'd look like then.

after clementi we drove past holland village and orchard. initially we wanted to go makan at bugis but her bf made a wrong turn and drove in circles so we settled for the cosy mcdonald's at kallang.
my friday night, not so bad after all.

cousins Round Bottom and Round Face

*ayu

-> cousin whom i spent most of my childhood days with.